Perspective (No) Problem


I've seen this jeep parked in the lot outside my office many of the nearly 1000 days I've worked there. If we do the math, it's annoyed me for like two and a half years. That happy-go-lucky jeep driver thinks it's really just how we're looking at it?

But, the jeep wasn't going away anytime soon, and neither was the nagging sense that this person was driving around with a valuable nugget of truth attached to their spare tire. Could it really be that simple: just look at it a different way and see that a problem is actually "no problem"???

A question to ponder, indeed. 

I must admit, I have resented this sort of "simplistic" thinking (quotes inserted here to emphasize that I was judging this thinking as less-than) that suggests that one little switch could actually change reality. "My problem is my problem, and there's really no mind-hack that can change that," I have thought.

But, upon giving my thinking some thought and sending it through what feels like a meta-analysis of sorts, I can see that I have been off base. As I keep moving the lens further and further back, I can see that actually, the only way a thing becomes a problem is when I start to assign it a meaning in my mind that I find unacceptable.

It sounds nuts, I know, but bear with me here. And if you've ever heard or listened to the teachings of Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School or Jill Lillard of The Happiest Lives, these ideas will likely seem familiar. The only way a thing (circumstance) becomes a problem for me is when I start to assign meaning to it that makes it that way.

Any single circumstance out there is just a circumstance -- this includes things I interpret as positive, such as a promotion or hitting the lottery or getting married, things I interpret as negative, such as death, destruction, the Yankees (HA!), insult, and injury, and every single thing in between. Until I begin to think about that thing, hence, make it mean something to me, it is only a thing that happened. 

Naturally, though, my mind begins to make a story about what happened. This is not a bad thing, it's just what we humans do. I am not a neuroscientist and haven't done the research the two ladies I mentioned have done in their practices, but I can tell you this is the way it works in my mind, and likely in yours too. Just observe what your brain does -- you will see!

Back to the chain of events: after I start having thoughts about a circumstance, then I have feelings. These oft-misunderstood little (and big) guys happen as a cascade of chemicals flow from my brain as a result of a thought I thunk. (My apologies to my wonderful Ron and every other grammar enthusiast reading this, I don't know if "thunk" is a word!) This cascade produces an emotion in me. These emotions then drive me to take or avoid action, and it's my actions/lack of action that determines the results I get in my life.

The field of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is based on these ideas, and I believe that the field of CBT is based on the Truth of who we are and how we were made that is found in the Word of God. Specifically, it says that we are transformed by the renewal of our minds and that we can let God change us into new people by changing the way that we think (Romans 12:2). 

So, back to my original questions...is it really that simple...could it really be that just by changing the way I'm looking at a circumstance, it could go from being a problem for me to "no problem"? My stubborn, old self thought that was sheer craziness. That "me" didn't understand what was happening in my brain and in my body, that I was the one in charge of how I decide to think about things, and most importantly, that old me didn't know that I was fully loved no matter what I was thinking, feeling, or doing/not doing.

What I have seen though, as I've delved into the work of observing my thoughts and taking responsibility for them, is that the way I am thinking about a thing (the way I'm "seeing" it) has everything to do with whether it is a problem for me or not. And going back to my meta-analysis, what I'm thinking about what I'm thinking and feeling has an even more profound effect on my actions.

It seems that if I judge myself or my thinking/feelings as "bad", I perceive (and create!) many problems. And if I accept myself and my thoughts and feelings as "ok", I perceive/create less. And another thing I've noticed is that (tell me if you've seen the same in you) the way I feel about me is often the way I approach my relationship with you. So, if I reject me, I'm pretty likely to think you're not ok; and if I accept me, I'm more apt to accept you.

The truth of who we are (every single person ever) is made and loved by God; totally accepted as we are and not rejected. So, because of that, we get to rest on the bedrock of this everlasting love and full acceptance as we walk through our lives, through all they will bring. 

I can see that in me, there is much work to be done in this area of perspective-shifting...turning that tire upside-down!! I'm genuinely experiencing the truth that that fact is not a problem for me anymore! I don't have to resent nice jeep drivers anymore for having a more lighthearted approach than I, and I don't have to be confused at how they could ever believe a word from their spare tire quip. 

Instead, I get to let my heart relax into the big armchair of love and acceptance that God offers me and let him change me from the inside-out. I know it's no problem for him, at all!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A2&version=NLT

https://thelifecoachschool.com/

https://thehappiestlives.com/

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