Just Keep Swimming

Last summer, I decided to teach myself how to swim.  I don't mean that I taught myself how to be in water without sinking, for I'm grateful to have learned that part in childhood; but, I mean to swim laps for fitness.  "They" (those "swimmers") make it look soooooo easy, but when I occasionally would try, I realized that I needed to go back to basics!

So, I found a swimmer's equivalent of a "couch to 5-K" (http://ruthkazez.com/ZeroTo1mile.html) and got to work.  Baby steps.  And I didn't make it all the way through (see number 10 below), but boy did I have some revelations!!  Turns out, besides learning how challenging it is to do what Mr. Phelps and crew make look so simple, I got a lot more lessons out of that pool than I'd ever imagined.  Here're a few:

1)  You actually DO get used to the water.

It feels freezing at first, and this comfort-seeking missile over here does NOT like it.  Not one bit.  Every ounce of my flesh, upon sticking a toe in the chilly (read: 72°) water, wants to run away to a tropical island.  So, for years, one taste of discomfort, and I was outta there.  Even when my cute little guy wanted me to swim with him, I made a million, zillion excuses why it was a bad plan for me, and he/we lost out on a lot of fun together.  (I've repented of and apologized for this!)  But, as I committed to this process, I got to see that, alas, it's not just a myth that "you get used to it"...you actually DO!!  Who knew?!!!

2)  I feel better when I exert myself.

Again, the comfort-seeking (overwhelming) part of me hates the idea of exertion.  The not knowing how long it will last and it feeling like it might never end.  The idea that each time I work out, I will feel discomfort if I'm pushing myself (the point of the whole thing).  All of that had been enough to keep me afraid of trying.  People would say all the time, "I feel better when I work out."  I thought they were insane.  Seriously?!!  It's miserable - the pain and the sucking wind, and the feeling like I might die.  None of that sounded particularly awesome to me. And it kept my motivation low enough to keep me chasing my own tail.

Last summer, I got in the water and actually got my heart rate up, worked hard, thought I wouldn't make it to touch the wall...all of that.  And I did it again and again.  And, low and behold, I see that I actually feel better when I exert myself.

3)  I float.

I know, I know, this shouldn't be news to me.  But, I'd always thought that I was a rock that sank.  It's a miracle, though, physics prevails and I FLOAT!  SO cool!!!!

4)  Floating is soothing.  Buoyancy (thank you, spell-check 😄 ) is therapy.

After the revelation that I actually DO float, there was even more for me to learn about floating.  You'd think this would be a no-brainer for a bunch of reasons, but all that fear was enough to keep me from experiencing it.  However, through the miracle of submission and commitment, I got to experience the freedom and peace that comes with being buoyant.  Don't believe me, give it a try.

5)  It's not just a metaphor, it's true:  when the waters rage, more struggle equals more trouble.

When it felt like there was a storm in the pool, I could sense myself reacting by getting tense and stressed.  And when that happened, I exhausted myself quickly.  First lesson here:  the storm is usually in me and not in the pool, especially since it was indoors and wasn't a mechanical wave pool, just a regular one at the YMCA.

So, it's my inner reaction to life that is stressful more than my actual circumstances.  And that's so hopeful because the thing in life I can actually control is my reaction!  Second lesson:  the more I struggle against adversity, the more trouble it causes me - in the water and on the land.  (Still working on this one in both places!)

6)  I only need enough air in my lungs until the next breath.

I've heard it countless times:  "Live in the moment." "Be here now." "One day at a time." "The only thing that matters is the present."  This message of being present to the present and not future-tripping or baggage-carrying is one we hear over and over, and over.  Why's it so hard for us to get?  Why am I so stubborn?  See, my learned way of being has been to stock up for future needs now.  I've seen myself do this with money, food, and even sleep.  "What if I don't have enough later?" is the question that (sometimes subconsciously) plays in my mind.

I didn't know I did this with AIR too!!!!!  But, I was!  A mere half-lap down the 25-yard pool, I found myself audibly sucking for air on each and every breath.  Each breath felt like it may be my last if I don't try realllllly hard to get allllll the air I possibly can into my lungs.  I was miserable and exhausted so quickly.

At some point, I heard a voice ask me, "What if you just take in enough air until the next breath?"  I answered the voice, "That's scary.... but I guess I'll try it since there's only a few seconds between breaths, I think I can do it."  So, I tried.  And wow.  There was instant ease.  I started to enjoy the glide through the water and felt my pace increasing as my lungs got into a rhythm they could live with.

7)  My hair can survive chlorine.

Excuse number 97 that kept me from swimming was that the chlorine is awful for my hair.  It's true - it's not great for it.  But, I learned a few tricks, and voila...I've swum a bunch of times now and still have a headful of healthy hair.

8)  You can actually get a real work-out in the pool.

I had judgements and presumptions.  That pool workouts weren't "real".  That it was a type of exercise reserved for the older demographic.  Funny -  many of those women and men who are double my age have swum proverbial circles around me!!!  I got to experience that "exhausted" feeling that had been so difficult for me to achieve because of my joint conditions and the laundry list of excuses that came with them.  It really is achievable in the pool!

9)  I have the Michael Phelps advantage in the pool.

My feet are huge.  Like, disproportionately gi-normous.  I'm under 5' 5 1/4" tall and wear a ladies size 13 running shoe.  When I was a child, they would all say, "Oh, you're going to be sooooo tall!" like I was a puppy or something.  And as an adult, they say, "Wow, you must have great balance!"  The truth is that I didn't end up "sooooo" tall at all, but just average height for a woman and that my balance is way below average.  This is because in addition to having pretty big feet, they are flat.  Like, pancake flat.  Totally devoid of an arch. (So, not-so-much on the great balance thing!)

BUT IN THE POOL, I'M A BEAST!!!  Who needs flippers when you have these things?~!!  And it's actually been publicized that Phelps' body-to-foot-size ration creates a significant speed-advantage for him in the pool!  I'm similar!

10)  Just keep swimming.

Dory, the awesome blue fish that she is, hit the nail on the head.  I don't get to just quit when things get hard.  Running away when resistance comes isn't an option in life.  The truth is that resistance and discomfort always come.  But, thankfully, they never stay.  They come and go like the waves of the sea, constantly ebbing and flowing.  I've learned, that's how I grow - in that flow, riding the waves of life.  Not struggling to survive, but taking the next step to let go a little more and trusting God for the outcome.  Bit by bit is how I thrive.  Day by day, taking in just enough breath until I lift my head on the other side.

I sit here from my desk to say that I haven't been in the pool in a few months.  Probably since school ended for my boy in June.  And, I see that fear mentality trying to creep back in.  "It's really hard.  It takes a lot of hard work and I don't feel like it...."  But, thanks to God who reveals to me the truth, I'm speaking back to that lying voice that says, "You're not worth it."  That's a trap and I'm not falling in today.  Instead, I'm going to just keep swimming.